Rants of a Rebecca

A serious/concerned kind

Hi Tram Tracks, and other non Checkrailled things. Well, it is Monday morning, and as in most offices around the world, the issue of milk is being debated. One of the main problems with office milk, is the milk thief. This person works in a few different ways, which I will discuss shortly, but at the end of the day, the result is the same, no milk. Your average milk thief, will do one of the following.

• If milk is provided by your place of employment, they will take home any milk they seem to think they need, leaving none for anyone else.
• If people have to buy their own milk, the milk thief will just use it, because it is there, before leaving the empty carton in the fridge.
• If the milk has gone off, they leave it there for someone else to deal with.

So here is a good way to work out just who the milk thief is, and teach them a lesson at the same time. On an open carton of milk, write your name, followed by the words "Urine Sample". Then place the milk back into the fridge. When you notice that the milk has been used, ask who has used the contents of the milk carton, in a serious/concerned kind of way. The first person who has a bit of a laugh about your "joke" of writing "Urine Sample" on the milk, is the milk thief. But your fun does not stop there. You now move into the very worried/extremely concerned expression, and ask why they drank something that was clearly marked "Urine Sample", by this stage, they will still be joking around, going along with the joke, saying they know it was "just milk". You then tell them something along the lines of this:

You see, I am suffering from an infrequent biological problem, that is causing my urine to appear very cloudy, almost milk like at times. I noticed this when going to the toilet before, and seeing as though my doctor was after a sample of this, I grabbed the first container that I could find, while crossing my legs to hold on, and we all know how hard that is to do. The first thing I could find that was anywhere near suitable was the empty milk container, kind of ironic, don't you think, given the medical issue at hand.

As you say this, their face will be turning green, and the war has been won. From this point on, they will buy their own milk. Blog Out HooRoo Rebecca

posted by Rebecca @ 11/21/2005 10:26:00 am