Rants of a Rebecca

An idea, delete

Hi Aisle 6, and other non Mental Home excursion destinations. Well last night I did it. I took to the stage for 4 minutes and 54 seconds (dang, just a touch short of my allotted five minutes), of first class, first time ever, Stand Up comedy. For now, I am currently waiting on the reviews, well review that Andy has said he will write, but I think the night went fairly well. Given I had a couple of complete strangers come up to me after the gig to congratulate me on a good show, I think I earned the thumbs up. One thing I set myself for the routine was to not swear. It annoys me these comedians who have to pepper out their material with lots of swearing. It is not funny, it is not in context, and it is lame. Mind you, having said that, I did use the words "bastard" "crap" and "piss", but they were all in context. It was referring to homeless people and how they are not just there for Backpacking Tourists to urinate on at 3am, when they are drunk, as the highlight of their holiday Down Under. The next thing now, is to write another routine, and do it again, which will happen some time in the future, but I'm not setting any dates yet. Mind you, the second routine will be a bit easier to write, given I forgot to perform a few of the jokes I had written for this spot, and here I was worried that I didn't have enough material to perform. Now I guess by now you are all wondering what the jokes were, well I am not telling. If I do, someone more famous will steal them and use them in their show, and I'd get no royalties. Oh, alright then, I'll try and do a blog version of a joke and see how much it dies here. I use to have long hair, it was so long it was down to my knees. Then I discovered bikini line waxing. Yeah, I know. I knew it wouldn't work. But hey, it did lead in nicely to the final joke I told for my spot. In other news..... Lydia is dead! Yes that is right. Lydia is D-E-A-D dead! So who is Lydia I hear you ask? Well she is someone that keeps getting her phone calls directed to my home phone, and today I finally got sick of it. Here is how it went.

dialer: Hello Lydia. Me: This isn't Lydia. dialer: Oh, sorry, is Lydia there. Me: Umm, sorry, haven't you heard? I thought someone would have told you by now. Umm, I don't know quite how to tell you this, but, umm, Lydia is dead. dialer [Getting a little frantic]: Oh no, when did this happen, what happened? Me: Umm, I'm not too sure, but I would say it happened a few years ago, given I have had this phone number for about two years now, yet every month you keep calling me asking for Lydia. It is pissing me off, and I am sure the constant calling from you pissed Lydia off, so much so it killed her. Here is an idea, delete this number from your records, then you might get it through your thick head. dialer: {click}

I hope by now, she has it worked out. If she doesn't, next month Lydia may return from the grave, and tell this idiot that she is the idiot's husband's mistress. Stay tuned. Well that is about all for now. I'm going to be redoing this website in the next week or so, and then in three weeks time, it will take a break for a month. I am finally having my holidays from work. After two years of being there, I need a break, so why not redo this site, then go find some homeless people to urinate on. Blog Out HooRoo Rebecca

posted by Rebecca @ 1/12/2006 05:41:00 pm