Rants of a Rebecca

I've been tagged, and bitchslapped!

Hi Arsehole on the Platform at Clayton today, and other non spitting 50 year olds. Well it looks like I have a bit of explaining to do, primarily about my answers from being tagged, so here goes. Mr Huggies said "Lego Kicks Ass." Yes it does, very much so. If only I had taken a photo of the trams I built with lego, before my kids destroyed them. One day I may rebuild, you never know. Sheriff of Nothing said "Nice one on ending the pyramid". Mmm, not sure if she means in a good way, or a bad way, so I will answer both. Good: Yes, I know, my answers are all defining, and can't be beat. Anyone looking for the meaning of life, need look no further. Bad: Screw you! Clokeeeey! Was a bit confused. Just so you know, it is the frozen ice version, not the band, as good as "I'm alone with you" was as a single. By the way Clokeeeey, I think the brothers would have been better off playing at Richmond, less exposure. Bert Ford, really wanted answers, and the truth kind! So here goes Bert: 1. Smoking, I've never seen the point in paying a multinational company to kill yourself. I offer a service which is half the price, and over in an instant. It will save people years of pain, and standing outside fouling up the air. For any smokers who have a problem with this, it is simple. Smoke as much as you like, just never exhale. 2. As for alcohol, I don't have an issue with people drinking, I just find the smell of it really bad, and too often it is used as an excuse for people to be total shitheads. I just choose to never drink the stuff myself, and I don't think I am missing out. That point aside, if I am ever down the pub, I will shout my round, just like everyone else, but I'll be drinking lemon squash. 3. Fare Evaders, it's not so much that they don't pay their way, just the attitude that goes with it. Grow up scum, no-one owes you anything in this world, you are just too lazy to do your bit for yourself, not just for buying a ticket, but for life in general. In Melbourne we have a hugh problem with fare evasion on public transport, some estimate that it runs at about 90%. Whenever they try to do something about it, the inspectors get bashed, and then blamed by the media for the problem. 4. Red is a problem, in two ways. It looks good on me, which is a curse, but heck I will still wear it. Also when I was just starting out in my Television career, we had to avoid red, because of how much it bled with the tube camera's. Also I find that if you are using the colour for graphic design, if you don't use the right shade of red, it either dominates too much and looks out of place, or looks too faded, and dulls the entire image. 5. Cars without numberplates. I don't know where this one comes from, but it is a real fear for me. For some reason, I think the people who drive these are either going to rob a bank, ram my car, or ram my car, with a bank. Either way, I just don't like them, it also looks weird. 6. The number 11 thing on my good list was Pepsi, I'm not a coca-cola girl. I find coke too sugary, and that pepsi has a better cola taste. Mind you, all the recent talk about Mountain Dew, has me annoyed we can't get it here in Australia anymore, well I haven't sen it at all. 7. Mushrooms are something that I am allergic to, so much so, that if I ate them, I would need an ambulance to me very quickly. At the moment all the food buffs seem to think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Hey fools, have a look at your food allergy list, Mushrooms are in the top five, so give us something with out them in it, ok? 8. The only reason I have an issue with telemarketers, is they seem to think two things. One, 8am or 8pm is the idea time to call anyone, especially those who are shift workers, who go to bed at 4am or 6pm. Give me some sleep bastards. Two, if you inform them that your number is not to be called ever again, and to be taken off their lists, they never do this. If I want to change to a different electricity company, I'll damn well do it myself, not because someone calls to say "Would you like fries with that?" Ooooh, I'm getting bitchy now. 9. As for personal space invaders, I am currently working on a PSI proof jacket. If someone invades your personal space, simply press the button, and the jaket inflates with sharp spikes, forcing people to stay away. If they were already standing too close, then they loose an eye. I expect it to be on the shelves for Christmas, and more popular that Tickle Me Elmo, and Buzz Lightyear combined. 10. When it comes to Bigots, I see the humourous potential, I use it all the time, but it wears you done when you do it at every station. Closing the doors before they are all on the train can be fun, but I only do this when they can't use simple mathamatics. For example, there are 12-18 doors on the side of a train, if there are 24 people to get on a train, why all stand at the same door? SPREAD OUT! Now if people can't work this out for themselves, I give them a lesson in waiting 20 minutes for the next train. Given they are mostlikely fare evaders anyway, I don't have a problem with this. Phew, what a series of answers, now onto the Turn Ons for you Bert. 1. My Kids. Nothing is better than my kids, I love them dearly, it will be great when I see them again, the court papers should be lodged by the end of the week, just got a couple of points to iron out on the 58 page document. 2. It is the game of cricket. However I like the pure form, for me there is nothing better than a Test match over five days. To have a game end in a thrilling draw, or even better a thrilling tie, is great. 3. There are a lot of people who don't accept me for being me. I'm not looking to be liked by everyone, I'm not that vain, despite my online persona (which by the way, is not too far off the real me, just with soother edges and better links.). My problem is there are a lot of people out there who want to hurt me, either mentally or physically, just because of who I am. It is not something I really want to blog about, as I don't really see a need too, I'm just trying to get on with my life. My issue is with people who make an assumption on a single thing, and curse you for that. It would be like me saying that I don't like the name Bert, therefore I am going to harm you, even if you like every other thing the same as I do. 4. I just like the colour green, it calms me. I better go look at some trees after this blog entry. lol 5. Yes the Beatles do rock. Sure some people say their music is a bit cheesy, but what they did with the technology they had at the time can't be ignored. As for ZZ Top and Neil Diamond, I didn't know they released an album together, but I would be interested in hearing it. :-P 6. I like to cook, it relaxes me, especially when I am trying to cook something I have never cooked before, it is exciting to have things turn out tasting great. 7. I know, motorbikes, I don't like watching other people ride them, I just like to ride them myself. I just wish I had a bike right now, it is hurting not having one. I'll have another one in about a year though, and that will be cool. For me, it is a Kawasaki ZZr 1300. My bike of choice. Mind you, if I was on a long tour, it would be a Honda Goldwing, fully optioned. 8. It's cool if you don't get tram infastructre, not many people do, in fact, I may be the only person who does. Trams are a hobby of mine, and while most people like them for the vehicles themselves, it is everything else, and their interaction with the building of a society that I like. If I mentioned I spent a couple of hours yesterday, looking over the parlimentry bills of 1897-1907 concerning trams and the Rosstown railway, would you understand, or at least walk away slowly, never breaking eye contact until it was safe to do so? 9. Sunny Boys, just have a look at what I have previously said about the wonderful delight that is the Sunny Boy. 10. Lego, what can I say, that hasn't already been said. Create it! Build it! Smash It! Shove a piece up your nose! And finally, to Mikey. I am not a Killjoy fucking! After the Big Blogger incident, the court orders against me, prevent me from taking such action. Actually at the time, I just couldn't be stuffed, so I have tagged someone. Now go off and look at every single blog in the world to find out who that is. After all that, I need to go and stand on a stage and try to be funny. Blog Out HooRoo Bec

posted by Rebecca @ 8/03/2005 02:27:00 pm