Rants of a Rebecca

Being swept off

I left the Blood Bank in a hurry. It was 1:40pm, and my post office box was a good 20 minutes away, if I had a good run there. The car was hot from the blistering sun, and I was in no mood for the start of the peak hour traffic. Which way would I turn, what roads would I take? I was still wondering as my e-tag went "beep" as I crossed the Bolte Bridge, curse the convoy of trucks for Footscray Road, curse them. I had to get to my Post Office box before 2pm. A package I was waiting on from ebay should be there by now, then I realised, I really didn't care about the package. That was not my reason for rushing to my little black box marked 4151. I wanted to know if there was another letter from my stalker, not that they have really been a stalker as such, unless it was them who stole my underwear from my clothesline about six months ago, but I doubt it was them. I had to know more about this person. Would my ploy to work out what their gender is have worked? Would I get to know a little more about them? Would they finally reveal who they are? Would they turn out to be my Lanternlight? My heart was a flutter, my hands were shaking with excitement, I had the giggles as I turn the key in box 4151. What secrets would be revealed? A letter from child support, "Merry Christmas, we have just upped your payment requirements by 20%." A card saying parcel to pick up, coolies from ebay. A letter, there was a letter, it was the letter I had come to hope for, the letter I had yearned. As I read, my excitement moved from my hands to my heart, why am I feeling this way? My mind raced with thoughts of meeting the mystery person, my mystery man, thanks to details in the new letter. The new letter was twice as long as the first, but still just as evasive. Who is this man, where is this heading? Questions and dilemma's raced though my head, my mouth could do nothing but blurt out more giggles, I blushed, I continue to blush every time I read the letter again and again, wonder, trying to work out just a little bit more. My thoughts moved to meeting this person, but how could I? I have a thick wall of protection around me, and I know nothing about this man. Does he know about my past? Could he take the time to get to know me for who I am? How long would it take for me to break down some of my wall for him to get to know me? Six months, a year, could he wait that long? The letter is both comforting an bewildering at the same time. What to do? Could I go on blogging about his letters, and getting mail form him every few days? Is that what our lives are meant to be in relation to each other? I dare not say relationship, it is nothing like that, but is this his way of making it get like that? I am being swept off my feet, decisions, decisions, anguish. He worries about his hand writing, it is better than mine by a long shot. He knows about my blue eyes, he has an attention to detail, but comments strangely about my dress. Has he seen me in my work uniform? I hope not. He writes from the heart, I can tell that, but why. Where is this going, am I ready for a journey, I am not sure, I like to know where I am going. I sit here, and ponder, wonder, breath, just breath. Where to next? Blog Out HooRoo Rebecca

posted by Rebecca @ 12/20/2005 05:16:00 pm