Their collection which
Hi Washing Machines, and other non Suds Saving devices. A few years ago, the Australian Government undertook a gun amnesty. They made a decision that firearms in the general public were a bad thing, a danger to society if you like. So they had people hand them in, and for doing so, you got a payment. Well it is time for it to happen again, yes we need another amnesty, but not for firearms this time. We need it for something that is much more of a threat to the public, a melting pot of violence which is about to boil over at any point. What I am talking about is a Bra amnesty. As every woman out there knows, there is at least one bra in her collection which is ill fitting, digs in, and causes you discomfort all day. It is this bra, which will one day see a woman snap, and as the old saying goes, Hell has no fury like a woman scorn, and that day will happen soon. A couple of years ago, I found the perfect bra for me. One you could wear all day, and it was great. No straps falling off, no hooks digging into my back, no underwires cutting into the side of my breast, like it is trying to dig a new passage for the Panama canal. This bra was so good, I decided to buy another five. This where the problems started. You see, I now had five bras, which all look the same, but as things are done on Sesame Street, "one of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not quite the same". Yes, one of the bras is an evil bra. The day will start off fine, but it is not until I am about half an hour away from home, that the torture begins. This bra also has the ability to know when I am going to be out for a long day, and it makes sure it is only worn on those days. Of course at the end of the day, do I throw the bra out? No, of course not. Instead it is a case of; Close the front door, unclip bra, off with the left strap, off with the right strap, and rip it out the bottom of my top. All up the entire process takes about 2.4 seconds, but the relief will last a lifetime. So what happens next with the said bra? Well, it doesn't end up in the bin, no, these suckers cost too much money to buy. Instead, it ends up in the laundry, along with all the other clothes, ready to fight another day. Which is why we need the amnesty. What the government should do, is buy back these bad bras. They will be in all shapes and sizes, and a rainbow of colours. The numbers will be in the millions. And of course the price of this buy back will be expensive, but the government does have a way of off setting the costs. All the government has to do, is find some country they are or want to be at war with, and donate the bras there. With the women of that country unable to go through a day with out discomfort, they will turn on their men. With their men sick of getting henpecked, they will be in no condition to fight a war. Yes folks, Australia doesn't need nuclear weapons, all we need is to off load our over the shoulder boulder holders, and the world will be ours. Blog Out HooRoo Rebecca
posted by Rebecca @ 6/25/2006 10:49:00 am
8 Comments:
I have the same problem with g-strings, but let's not go there.
You could always construct your very own "Bra Fence".
In the words of John Lee (unoffical Bra Fence guardian):
"They have got a magic quality about them, bras," Lee said. "For me, they have all my life."
Hear hear!
""Do your titts hang low?
Do they wobble too and frow?
Can you tie 'em in a knott?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can your flop 'em over your shoulder?
Like a regimental soldier?
Do your titts hang low?""
Good old over the shoulder boulder holders hey?? Nice to let the girls loose after a long day isn't it?
Next full moon let's have a bra burning night to mark the occasion..the old loose evil bras that is :)
Let's unload them on China, since that is where the majority of these torture devices are made.
I have an excellent bra which was made in Honduras. Those South Americans know how to treat a titty. Me gusta Honduras!
I'll buy it. Then I can sell it to some freak on e-Bay for even more than I paid for it.
;o)>
Hey Ann..can I buy me a pair of these gr8 bras you are talkin' about? Would they post to Australia??
I also would like to join the fun of burning bras. I hate wearing any in 36 degrees centigrade.
They will never get my love gun.
Hi Lantern,
Thanks for opening the comments with such a vivid thought. I am still trying to wash the thought from my mind.
Hi Dr Evil,
Sure, when would you like your services to happen? All you need is someone to offer their assests for your services.
Hi Cazzie,
The bra burning sounds good, but with the stuff they make them out of these days, I think it will only last for a split second, and will leave a large mushroom cloud over the suburbs.
Hi Miss Ann,
If only there was the perfect bra for all of us. I have a feeling that is the true Holy Grail. Maybe that is why Jesus has his arms the way they are in the painting of the last supper. He is wearing an ill fitting bra.
Hi Mark,
Ebay away. That is where I got the Boob-a-rific bra from.
Hi Dr Evil,
You are not a freak, you are a Dr Freak. You didn't got to seven years of friggin Freak school to just be a freak.
Hi Cazzie,
Yes I agree, come on Miss Ann, start the shipments.
Hi Andy,
I am glad the post meets with your approval. Tits.
Hi Szelso Fa,
Welcome to the Rants. Yes, the sweat factor of summer is not a nice thing. Idea, how about an ice bra?
Hi Mr Huggies,
Ummm, ok.
HooRoo
Rebecca
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