Back to LOL
Hi Consumer Service Centres, and other non press 3 to continue services.
This blog entry could have been titled "What I did on my holidays". But that would bring back painful memories of school, where every story had to end in "It was all just a dream". But this was no dream.
I have blogged about my friend Sophie before. Sure I could provide you with a link, but I am too lazy to find the post. Sophie is my friend in Perth, and about 18 months ago, when I was going through some tough times, she stood up for me. Back then, she was unknown to me, today I consider her family.
Family is a work that has kind of lost it's meaning to many people in modern times. Family is used to describe you fishing/footy mates, by bosses to describe the workers of a company. But really, how many of those people would give you a hug, just because you looked like you needed one? OK, so maybe your footy mates when they got a few beers into them would, but that is a different story.
Sophie has really become my older sister. Which is a good thing, because the biological one I had, is kind of no more. She isn't dead as far as I know, but she may as well be non existent, because she is to me. Her choice, she is an adult, and free to make her own choices. It is the same with my former parents. I have no issues there. Each to their own.
The first three weeks of my holidays was spent with Sophie, kicking back and relaxing on holiday. When it came time for me to leave her home in Perth, I just didn't want to go. I felt like I was leaving a part of me behind. No more face to face chats for us, it is back to the telephone, back to online messages, back to typing our thoughts and feelings to each other, back to LOL at the end of sentences.
We had our times where we stressed each other out, did stuff the other one didn't like, but families do that. Now I am crying as I type this, and I can't remember the next bit I was going to say.
OK, it is an hour or so later, and I have completely lost my train of thought. I guess I should just end this post by saying; Thank you Sophie, thank you so much for being there for me. If you ever need me, I am only a phone call, and 3 hours 45 minutes flying time away. Big Hugs for you.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
Cat may want
Hi Thongs, and other non footwear items.
Well I have been given a challenge by Hillbilly Mom. She wants me to write an essay on the following subject:
An apple core, a kitten with one eye, a dead rat and a string to swing it with, and a tick in a percussion-cap box.
An easy task indeed, so sit back, relax, and be ready for a test at the end of it all.
So, you want an easy Hillbilly way to impress your friends? Well why not try this simple task. First of all, you need an apple. No need to go and do anything silly like buy one. Just climb over the fence, and steal one from your neighbours yard. Once you have the apple, eat it so there is only the core left.
The next thing you need is a kitten with one eye. While there are not that many of these around these days, you can find them. Just head down to your local Hillbilly Mechanics, also known as Uncle Bob's place,where you can find a fine collection of; One eyed cats, two headed dogs, three tailed raccoons, four legged chickens, FIVE GOLDEN RINGS! Sorry, I got a little carried away with that last thing you could find. Anyway, while you are at Uncle Bob's, collecting that car that he has just resprayed a different colour, and changed the number plates for you, pick yourself up a one eyed kitten.
The next thing you need is a dead rat. An easy task for any Hillbilly. Just go to your locker at school, and you can find a fine collection.
The next thing you need is string. This may prove to be a hard thing to do. String is that amazing object that you use to hold up your pants. Now using your own string is a dangerous thing. If you use it, your pants will fall down, so remember to wear underwear. On second thoughts, underwear is a more difficult thing to explain than string, so try this instead. While your Uncle/Dad is sleeping on the couch, take his string. This string should be attached to your dead rat. Just tie it up the same way you tie up your pants.
Lastly you will need a Tick in a percussion cap box. As any Hillbilly knows, the only place to get these is Walmart. You will find them in aisle 27, just past the SVU style cup holders.
Now that you have all the bits and pieces, it is time to put them to use. To impress your friends, You need to place the apple core on the one eyed cats' head. The cat may want to move around a fair bit when you do this, so to occupy the cat, take the tick from the box, and place it somewhere on the cat. While the tick will enjoy this, the cat wont, but it will take it's mind off the apple core.
You then need to get as far as you can from the cat, but at a distance where you can still see it. A good distance to be is the length of the hallway at your school. Be careful Mabel doesn't see you. She can see everyone and everything, after all, she is Hillbilly Mom's imaginary friend.
When you get to the other end of the hall, swing the dead rat above your head, clockwise or anti-clockwise will work just as good as each other. When you can see body parts coming off the dead rat, let go of the string, and watch as it flies through the air, and knocks the apple core of the one eyed cats' head. The rat will be all so pretty for the tick too, so it will leave the cat.
You will be king of the class room. That is until someone works out a better way to stick a Big Red wrapper to their head.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
Accent after weeks
Hi Poached Eggs, and other non stolen food stuffs.
Well Peter Allen is right. You all know that song, the one that makes you feel homesick. Yep you know what I'm talking about "Constant traveller, Tenterfield Saddler".
Of course I am actually thinking of "I still call Australia home" and I am really glad to be home, even if I am on the other side of the country for the next week. Yep, here I am in Perth, living it up, doing stuff all because of the heat.
An interesting flight home. Qantas were not flying direct on the day we left Thailand, so it was a Cathy Pacific flight from Bangkok to Singapore (how the hell did they get airline of the year?), before a three hour lay over in Singapore, before finally flying Qantas to Perth.
As we were boarding the plane, I knew I was finally heading home, when from behind me I heard the words "Bloody hell, this bastard is going to be chockers." I smiled, and turned to the guy behind me, and said "I am so glad to hear that. Nothing like a bit of an Aussie accent after weeks of not hearing it." That set us both off, saying things like "Wouldn't mind a Dog's eye and a bit of dead horse.", "Too right mate, bonza." and other such slang.
When the plane started to taxi off down the runway, we were on our way, and only 4 and a half hours or so away from Perth, I was looking forward to landing back home, but then something "unAustralian" happened. The pilot announced to everyone "G'Day everyone, you are not going to believe this, but we have to go back to the terminal. We thought everyone was here, but it turns out someone got left behind. Sorry about this, Qantas don't do the passenger count here in Singapore, they think they do a better job themselves. Well I guess we have proven that wrong tonight."
So after going back, we had lost our flight path, so we had to sit at the terminal for about another 40 minutes. The pilot did well to get us into Perth only 20 minutes late.
Even with him making up time, we didn't get in until 1:30am, then we had to go through Customs, and weren't they in a silly mood at that time of the morning. Mind you, overseas visitors may not see the funny side.
When you fly into other countries, they are heavily armed, and checking for all kinds of weapons. Last thing they want is for you to overtake the country with your own private army. But Australia is different....
When you land here, you are confronted by a Beagle, that goes around sniffing your bag, and some guy who demands to know if you are carrying any fruit. We don't care if you have a WMD in your back pack, but try and bring a banana into the country, and it's 20 years in gaol for you.
Well, it's good to be home. I've eaten my first Vegemite in weeks, and it tastes good. Oh, and I noticed the footy starts this week too.
No matter how far, or how wide I roam, I still call Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi!
Blog Out,
HooRoo,
Rebecca.
Any warning signs
Hi Five, and other non childrens entertainment groups.
Well I am still closed for the holidays, but I thought I would blog. Not that much has happened in the last week or so.
I'm here in Thailand, and visiting it's wonderful capital city of Bangkok, which I am sure many people have done over here. Wow, what a liberal place it is. I've never been much of a touchy/feely person, but the locals here have no concept of my usual 30km zone of public space. It has taken a bit to get use to, but I think I am nearly there. Heck I managed to leave my hotel room today, sure it was just to go to the reception area, but I did leave the room.
This is am interesting place. If litigation ever made its way to South East Asia, the lawyers would have a field day. If you want to run a hose across the footpath, just do it, no need to put up any warning signs. Speaking of foot paths, they are an optional extra, most walking is done on the roads, and it is a case of first in, best dressed, for when it comes to pedestrians, cars, tuk-tuk's motorbikes, and anything else that happens to want to be on the road.
The other thing I have noticed over here is how American everything is. McDonald's, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Dunkin Donuts, Baskin Robins, Auntie Anne's, and any other kind of fast food outlet you could mention. Oh and don't worry if you walk past a 7-11 store, there will be another one with in 15 metres.
The Skytrain has been interesting. All announcements are in English as well as Thai, so no need to worry if you are going to go past such locations as Nana or On Nut. Also while other public transport systems through out the world have "This seat reserved for Elderly", here in Bangkok, there is "This seat reserved for Monks".
Anyway, time for me to log off and go and enjoy more of the sights and sounds of this wonderfully humid land. I am so glad I don't have to cover up over here, as crop tops and light skirts are the order of the day. The only problem is, being 6'2" tall, which on average is about a foot taller than the general population. Because of this, I stand out, and have become a bit of a crowd stopper. The guys especially are liking the view, as most of them are at breast height. Oh dear, no matter where you go in the world, some things never change.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
Closed For Holidays
Well everyone, I am finally off on a holiday, so it will be at least three weeks before I type anymore posts here.
I want to thank those who have supported Rants Of A Rebecca over the last few years, and pity those who insult.
I wont say I will be bac with bigger and better things after the break, because it will just be the same old dribble this site is famous for. What I can say is, at least I will be refreshed.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
Hi Ecotourism and other non "don't leave your rubbish behind" activities.
So, you thought you knew Hillbilly Mom, well here are a few things I bet you didn't know about her:
Hillbilly Mom does not sleep, she waits.
Hillbilly Mom was voted worst dressed student at High School, and also managed to get the runners up award in the same year.
Hillbilly Mom once forgot to get her daily dose of Sonic Diet Cherry Coke. The Stockmarket price of the company fell by 28% overnight.
Hillbilly Mom is so bad at electronic things, she once bought an Etch-a-sketch, thinking it was a portable television. She still views it to this day, waiting for the reception to improve.
Hillbilly Mom once tried out as a competitor on Iron Chef, but was rejected as Chex Mix is not a culinary delight.
Hillbilly Mom knows she has two sons, but can't remember where she put them last.
Hillbilly Mom thinks that Mount Rushmore is a natural geological feature.
Hillbilly Mom once thought she had won the lottery, but it was just an ad on television giving out a Pizza Delivery phone number.
Hillbilly Mom manicures and clear coats the nails of her pets, so they can look real pretty like her.
When Hillbilly Mom dies, she is donating 90% of her wealth to charities. The problem is her wealth wouldn't cover the cost of the postage, let alone the cost of the cheques, or even the pen to write them with.
Hillbilly Mom is ubiquitous and abundant.
Hillbilly Mom can be hypnotized in the same way you hypnotize a chicken.
Hillbilly Mom is a firm believer in Mucophagy.
Hillbilly Mom invented Krumping. It wasn't intended, but once people saw her dancing, it took the world of Hip Hop Clowning by storm.
Hillbilly Mom once ran for local government, but sprained an ankle on the way.
A lot of people think the voice of the teacher in the Peanuts series was a trombone, muted by a plunger. But it was really Hillbilly Mom.
I am sure there are more facts out there, I just need to find them.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
