Their collection which
Hi Washing Machines, and other non Suds Saving devices.
A few years ago, the Australian Government undertook a gun amnesty. They made a decision that firearms in the general public were a bad thing, a danger to society if you like. So they had people hand them in, and for doing so, you got a payment.
Well it is time for it to happen again, yes we need another amnesty, but not for firearms this time. We need it for something that is much more of a threat to the public, a melting pot of violence which is about to boil over at any point.
What I am talking about is a Bra amnesty. As every woman out there knows, there is at least one bra in her collection which is ill fitting, digs in, and causes you discomfort all day. It is this bra, which will one day see a woman snap, and as the old saying goes, Hell has no fury like a woman scorn, and that day will happen soon.
A couple of years ago, I found the perfect bra for me. One you could wear all day, and it was great. No straps falling off, no hooks digging into my back, no underwires cutting into the side of my breast, like it is trying to dig a new passage for the Panama canal. This bra was so good, I decided to buy another five. This where the problems started.
You see, I now had five bras, which all look the same, but as things are done on Sesame Street, "one of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not quite the same". Yes, one of the bras is an evil bra.
The day will start off fine, but it is not until I am about half an hour away from home, that the torture begins. This bra also has the ability to know when I am going to be out for a long day, and it makes sure it is only worn on those days. Of course at the end of the day, do I throw the bra out? No, of course not. Instead it is a case of; Close the front door, unclip bra, off with the left strap, off with the right strap, and rip it out the bottom of my top. All up the entire process takes about 2.4 seconds, but the relief will last a lifetime.
So what happens next with the said bra? Well, it doesn't end up in the bin, no, these suckers cost too much money to buy. Instead, it ends up in the laundry, along with all the other clothes, ready to fight another day. Which is why we need the amnesty.
What the government should do, is buy back these bad bras. They will be in all shapes and sizes, and a rainbow of colours. The numbers will be in the millions. And of course the price of this buy back will be expensive, but the government does have a way of off setting the costs.
All the government has to do, is find some country they are or want to be at war with, and donate the bras there. With the women of that country unable to go through a day with out discomfort, they will turn on their men. With their men sick of getting henpecked, they will be in no condition to fight a war.
Yes folks, Australia doesn't need nuclear weapons, all we need is to off load our over the shoulder boulder holders, and the world will be ours.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
Nil all draw
Hi Corners, and other non fish and chip locations.
Well the soccer world cup is on, apparently. I say apparently because it is all everyone is talking about, except me. I hear it is front page news, but for me, the Herald-Sun only ever gets two things right. The comics and the page numbering, and quite often they get the page numbering wrong. But I digress.
Everyone is jumping on the bandwagon, supporting the Socceroo's, carrying on as though they are going to win the world cup, and cure world hunger at the same time. Well I beg to differ. Call me un-Australian if you like, I don't care. These people who have suddenly become soccer tragics, thinking that a nil all draw is a great game, will be the same people who after the world cup is finished, would call for a Royal commission, if an Aussie Rules game has less than 20 goals scored in it.
The thing I really can't stand is not the players, or the sport itself. Any sport takes skill to play, especially at an elite level. What I can't stand is the hooligans who call themselves fans. As an example, as I left work this morning (it was 1am after all), on the streets of Melbourne, there were idiots everywhere, carrying on like feral animals, setting of flares, trashing the city, and yelling and screaming at the tops of their voices. If they didn't have a car horn to press repeatedly, then they would break into a car to find one. The worst thing about this, is the game was still four hours away from starting.
This breaking down of the values of society, in the name of soccer, is not the basis of a stable society, not here in Australia, or anywhere in the world. In sport there is a saying, what happens on the field, stays on the field. The problem with the "supporters" is, they think the world is their field, and the game never stops.
So to anyone who thinks that soccer is a good thing, then leave it at just the soccer, and the soccer is a game, and the game is just 90 minutes long. Sure there is injury time, but don;'t make the injury time a life time affair, by getting involved in the violence that seems to happen in the presence of soccer.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
First known case
Hi Thermo Printing, and other non carbonated products.
Well I really don't feel like blogging, in fact I am only blogging to say I am not blogging right now. I'm in a bit of a lull right now. All apart of the rollercoaster of life. Right now I feel like I am on the rollercoaster designed for 3 year olds, not too fast, not very high, not too many bumps or curves. But I am in a bit of the low section of the track, so I am just waiting to start the rise again.
I heard through the grape vine that Rachy has picked up another infection. I don't know if the reports are correct, but apparently it is the first known case of someone getting herpes from masturbating. Get well soon Rachy.
Things are starting to move along with my custody battle. Last Tuesday I managed to go to my kids school, which is a two hour ride away, and see their teachers for report night. This was a big step forward, and even though I only saw them for ten minutes each, it was worth the travel.
The kids don't seem to be doing all that great. Nothing really bad, but if they had a bit more structure in their lives, and some closure on events that have happened over the last few years, it would give them a chance to really focus and excel at school. Hopefully I can get that happening in full swing in the next few weeks, just shopping for a new lawyer right now.
On a side note, I did see my ex attending as I was riding off from the meetings. Isn't it a pity that some people have that much of a shitty life they have to walk around everywhere like they have just sucked on a lemon.
There was no point making contact. Every time I have tried it in the past, it has just resulted in me getting abused, screamed at, sworn at, and being totally unable to comprehend anything that is being said. For now I will just leave it up to the lawyers to decide, regardless of the expense, I'm not putting a dollar value on my children.
Blog Out,
HooRoo,
Rebecca
Our State Drink
Hi Polymer lids, and other non perforated devices.
I have a question to put to the readers of ROAR. Sure I could just google things, but I think this will be more fun.
Back when I was a kid, each State in Australia had their own brand of State soft drink. Then it was bought out by Coca-Cola, and they all disappeared, only to reappear rebranded, under the New South Wales name, but missing all the good varieties.
The State drinks, were all your favourite flavours, There was Pineapple, Raspberry, Lemonade, Lime (which had a strange push button opening system), Sars, and countless others. The big one to note was Creamy soda was brown here in Victoria, but Red in New South Wales, a case which remains today.
Here in Victoria, the drinks were marketed under the name of Marchants, and it had a great little jingle which is still in my head to this day;
Make Mine Marchants,
Cause it's Our, State, Drink!
So I am looking for people to complete the list, what was the drinks called in your State?
Victoria: Marchants
New South Wales: Kirks Shelleys
Queensland: Kirks (Thanks Dr. Evil)
Tasmania:
South Australia: Boyds? (I don't know why, this just rings a bell)
Western Australia: Gests/Guest (Thanks Sophie)
Northern Territory:
Australian Capital Territory:
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
They Are Back!
Look out everyone those crazy guys in white are back, yes it is time for....
The NEW Adventures of Bob and Carl, Snowmen.
Tried a certain.
Hi Cats Eyes, and other non road marking devices.
Firstly, before this blog entry goes anywhere, I would just like to say a very big
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
To Rachy, have a good one darls, will see you later today.
Now on with the show.
Well it is time to get the diet into serious mode again. Now there are a lot of diets out there on the market, and while I haven't tried them all, what I have tried just doesn't work for me.
Having said that, last time I tried a certain eating regime it seemed to work, so I am going back to that. All it involved was looking at the ingredients on anything, and if thee was more than three non food things on the list, I didn't eat it. Cut out the additives, and I lost weight, so why not give it another go.
This morning was cold, very cold in my neck of the woods, outside there was a lot of fog too, and very cold. Instead of getting on the motorbike and riding in such a thick pea soup fog, I decided to do the smart thing, and take the push bike to the station, and get the train in. Well after riding to the station, I was covered in frost. No I am not joking, I had frost on me, and I was bloody cold. What a way to get the heart pumping.
Oh well, better go and get the work day out of the way, then it is off to see Rachy, to wish her a Happy Birthday.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
Job I have
Hi saxophone Players, and other non Brass Blowing types.
Well it is a big day today. Finally after two and a half years of turmoil, only 15 minutes ago, I became a fully qualified train driver.
It is a wonderful experience to finally put all the training behind me, and know that I can just get on with a job I have known for ages I can do, but wasn't yet fully qualified to do.
Tonight there is a bit of a piss up for the group, six of us in all, but I wont be attending. This is because of two reasons, one being I am not the drinking type, and find this kind of event really boring and vain. Secondly, I spoke to the roster section, and picked up a job tomorrow, on my rostered day off. It is not that I am hungry for the work, it is just that I want to get that first run on my own done and out of the way.
This is a huge weight to have finally been lifted from my shoulders, and with this now out of the way, I can get on with the legal battle to get my kids back.
Now if you will all excuse me, I have to go and collect my key, and have a nice long cry.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
Everytime someone asks
Hi Singing Birds at 4am, and other non endangered species.
Last night I was talking with a friend about how pissed off I get at being asked how tall I am all the time.
It went along the lines of "If I had a dollar for every time....."
So the plan is now, everytime someone asks me how tall I am, I will tell them it costs the a dollar to find out, with all money being donated to the Royal Childrens Hospital. If someone only has a $2 coin, I will tell them twice.
I will keep you all informed of the running tally.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
Will randomly knock.
Hi Coffee Beans, and other non steamed and brewed brown things.
OK, so Cazzie is complaining that I haven't updated my blog all week. Well, here you go Cazzie, not only am I updating my blog, I am using your computer to do it.
There really isn't that much to report actually, I've just been flat out with work, and nothing else really. To sum up today's hockey game, not only did I play shit, but this bitch from the other team belted me in the wrist with her stick, so it is now all strapped up. Grrrr.
Because I have nothing to blog about, I thought we would do something we haven't done for a while, and that is visit the nation of Beclakia.
All Sneeze Beclakia!
It has become apparent in Beclakia, that we need some road laws. The old system of who goes first being decided by a game of Paper, Rock, Scissors, is gridlocking our nation. So here is the solution.
As most accidents happen at intersections, we are removing all intersections. Not only will this help with traffic flow, but it will mean people have to think about where they are going first, instead of just driving, and turning left at the next set of lights.
To stop people from drink driving, we are closing all pubs, and instead, putting beer on tap in every home. Roving hooligans will randomly knock on doors to stir things up, and break the occasional nose. Also all carpets in your home will be made sticky at no extra charge.
As those idiots who drive around with bass music annoy everyone, we are putting an age limit on subwoofers. Now you will have to be aged over 70 to fit them to their car. Not only will this help cut down on noise pollution, it will mean, that if you do hear such music, you have been pre-warned some old fart is driving down the road.
The Give Way rule is to be overhauled. Now, who goes first depends on the colour of your vehicle. As white cars are easiest to see, they have right of way. Black cars with tinted windows, which have been lowered, will have to wait for everyone, including 4 year old kids on trikes rolling down the footpath.
So there you have it, the end of all confusions.
All Sneeze Beclakia!
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
