Silly Old Farts
Hi Ten Green Bottles, and other things not hanging on a wall,
Well finally for the last week I am back at work, doing what I am meant to be doing there, and not "doing time" for what they thought was naughty. But that is not the meaning of this rant, and I don't want to get into that at all.
Anyway, today, I had to help an oldish guy get on the train. He was in one of those motorised wheelchairs. I don't have anything wrong with people in these chairs, but geez they piss me off! I'm there to do a job and keep time, thse buggers make me lose time, grrrrr!
As I was saying, I was helping this guy get on the train, and he says to me, in this rolling melody (you know, like a boppy 1940's tune) "It's nice to see a lady on this job."
I thanked him, asked him where he was going to, and said I'll see you there. All nice and friendly, no point in me being rude.
So we get to his station, and I get the ramp out again, and as he is getting off, he says to me, this time, with a bit of sleeze in his voice "You know, you're real cutie, I'm happy to catch your train again, or even just you."
Now to me, this kind of comment, and the look that goes with it, is boardering on harrassment. I wouldn't go running and screaming to the police to have the guys chair overturned in a raid, and have him arrested, but surely someone of this age would have learn his P's and Q's many years ago.
Is it some thing with guys that when they get to the stage in their life that peeing their own pants is enough excitement for one day, that suddenly they can talk to any woman like dirt, and think they will pick up? Hello guys, pull your pants back up, your skidmarked Y fronts are showing.
I've noticed this behaviour in guys around the 55-70 age bracket, this guy was not a one off. When I was stationed on my "much worse" duties, I had a guy come up to me one morning and say "What is a beautiful woman like you doing working this hour of the day?" (this hour being 7am)
I replied "Well someoe has to do the job, and the ugly ones have the day off."
His reply was "Well they should be here, and you should be at home in bed, fucking your husband, and making his day."
I gave him the "water off a ducks back" look, and said "Thank you sir, your train is right up there on the platform, if you hurry, you can still get under it."
So to all the sleezey old men out there, if you are of the age where you are wondering why there is cheese in your underwear, the form guide is printed so small, or you wonder where you left your teeth, please do one thing in your life....
Stop asking me to date you!
Blog Out,
HooRoo
Bec
BB Challenge Version 12
This Is Big Blogger.
Here is the new challenge for those Cyberhousemates still hanging in there.
PISS IN YOUR POCKET.
You have been chosen as the new face of a national advertising campain. Your face will be plastered on billboards right across every major highway. In combination with your photo, a catch slogan, to really get people interested will be listed next to you.
Cyberhousemates, your task this week is to come up with the right slogan. Remember it is going to be read by people whizzing past in cars, so it needs to get the point across. You can choose from one of the following subjects, the rest is up to you:
- Truck Parts
- Birth Control
- Fibre Enriched Diet
- Bank Interest Rates
- Recycling
Given there are only three people left in the Cyberhouse, the one voted the best will be immune from nomination this week. This will only happen if all Cyberhousemates complete the task by next Monday.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Big Blogger
Cooking With Bec. Vol.5
Hi Hook Turns, and other non-Melbournian road laws.
Well after a long break, it is back to the Cooking With Bec series.
Now I am sure you all know what a "slap up" is. Well it is also a for of cooking where you get a quick meal happening.
The version goes back to 1889, when a young Scandanavian opened his first "Cured Fish" store in Australia. He sold all the usual Red Herrings, and other salted fishy things, but the premium dish was his 'Slap'.
Now the Slap is an unusal dish. It is made from the finest of scrapings from the bottom of a ships hull, and cured in the sweat rung out of the ships crews' underwear. The dish is then put into a barrel and forgotten about for the next 7 years. After this time, it has rotted through the hull of the ship, from where it floats to the nearest shoreline. From here it is collected and sold as 'Slap'.
Now it takes a desperate person to eat Slap, or one who has no will to live. Quite often when it is consumed, it comes back qucikly. At this point, everyone else gets a wiff of the stench, and calls out "Slap Up!"
Thankfully tonights dish is a little better, but just as much fun to cook.
The dish is in three parts.
Part one: Chicken pieces flame grilled in Cajan spice and lemon juice.
Part Two: Fresh garden salad. Don't worry if you don't have a garden, you can get one at the supermarket these days.
Part Three: We have all heard of a Mediterranian pasta dish before, but I am not sure I will put this dish in that subsection of pasta. There for I am going to name it after a fine Victoria waterway, and call it a Maribrynong Pasta.
This pasta is fairly simple, and was the base for me doing the slap up. All you need is some pasta, I chose spiral tubes, but anything will do. Just cook this through, then leave to the side.
In a deep dish frypan, cook up some Bacon, Onion, Garlic, Mixed herbs. Once this is nice and browned off, add in some semi sundried tomatos, tomato paste and cottage cheese. Mix it all together and there you have it.
For serving, simply put the chicken on a bed of the pasta, and have the salad on the side. Nothing to it. So there you have it, enjoy your slap up and happy cooking.
Blog Out.
HooRoo,
Bec
BB Verdict. Ver 9.0
This Is Big Blogger.
Eviction time again, and despite the fact it is very foggy in my town today, I can clearly see, that it is time to go....
SOPHIE
Thanks for playing Sophie, you leave the house with cash and prizes to the value of $0, and your tail between your legs.
With Sophie leaving the Cyberhouse, that leaves only Mr Huggies to carry the baton for Australia. Can he go all the way? Only time will tell.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Big Blogger
Cartoon Rant Vol 2
Hi [insert witty pronoun here] and other inverts of the bracketed object/name,
Well here we go with another cartoon rant. Recently a few bloggers have been chatting/venting/cursing god stuff, for an example and a good blog, click here. So I dug into the cartoon files, and found this one.
Enjoy the show, normal blogging will continue shortly.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
Snow Season 3
Hi 00101100 and other non switching codes,
Well it is time for some more fun in the snow with our favourite Snowmen Bob and Carl. Ok, so no one else cares about Bob and Carl, but hey, it gets me out of doing a real blog post.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
BB Nominations Ver 9.0
This Is Big Blogger.
Nominations are heading this way again. With only four Cyberhousemates left, I want not tantrums from anyone for getting nominated. If you do throw a tantrum, you will be sent to the naughty room.
The nominations this week are:
Sophie
Mr. Huggies
DeadPanAnn
Best of luck to each of you, and by the way Hillbilly Mom, no gloating from you either, or you may just find yourself on the nominations list. It may not be this week, but I am 100% sure it will happen with in the next week or so.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Big Blogger
Getting about
Hi etiquetas del pan, y otros clips no restrictivos.
El pozo I hizo un google de mi nombre del blog, y demuestro para arriba en un Search Engine español. Tan para todos los lectores de Spainish hacia fuera allí, hola y la recepción a Rants de un Rebecca.
Blog Fuera De
HooRoo
Bec
[translation]
Hi Bread Tags, and other non restrictive clips.
Well I did a google of my blog name, and I show up in a Spanish search engine. So for all the Spainish readers out there, hello and welcome to Rants Of A Rebecca.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Snow Season 2
Hi Tracky Dacks, and other non flanny clothing.
Well it is time we headed to the hills again, and caught up with the latest adventure of Bob and Carl. Enjoy the show.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
BB Challenge Version 11
This Is Big Blogger.
The world is in dire need of help, so Cyberhousemates, here is your challenge:
"Undies On The Outside"
For the "Fantastic 4" of you who are left in the house, your task is to pick a known superhero, and say why you would like to be this person, or come up with your own superhero, who can save the world.
Now as we all know, superheros need a sidekick, so from the list of former Cyberhousemates, you need to pick one of them to be your sidekick. Your sidekick needs a name and some minor superpowers.
Best of luck, and may the world be saved.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Big Blogger
Cartoon Rant
Hi Construction Workers, and other non Village People types.
Many years ago, while I was in my formative education years, I use to draw cartoons.
I only ever got published in my University publication, but since then, cartooning was something else that just went by the wayside as I imploded on my creativity.
Since starting Improv Comedy, thanks to Andy, and from running a blog, I've got the creative juices trickling again.
Now I have a few too many things going on, some of which will be blogged at a later date, but for now, I'm just occassionaly going to blog one of my old cartoons. I've added a bit of colour to these, and I would like to open with one of my favourites, Banana.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
BB Verdict. Ver 8.0
This Is Big Blogger.
There were FIVE in the house and the little one said, "Roll Over, Roll Over!"
So they all rolled over and......
COLBS fell out!
Yes Colbs it is time to go, and this time, please don't sneek back in through the Cat Flap while no one is looking, and no ringing the doorbell and running off. THanks for playing, but now you really must go.
So viewers that leaves two Australians, and Two Internationalists left in the Cyberhouse.
Sophie and Mr Huggies are doing their bit for Australia, while Hillbilly Mom and DeadPanAnn are continuing the USA invasion. Who will be left come the final Big Blogger show, we will find out soon.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Big Blogger
Snow Season
Hi Infomercials, and other non crappy advertising.
Well here in Australia, it is snow season. Yes it is true we actually get snow, sometimes. Now I'm not a snow bunny, I can't stand the stuff. If I am on skis, there has to be a boat infront of me, and that doesn't really work on snow.
But anyway, to honour the snow season, I have drawn a little comic. I use to do comics many years ago in uni, so maybe I will publish some of those at some stage. For this one though, I did drag myself somewhat into the 21st century. I dew the base files, scanned them, then photoshopped away.
Ok, I'll stop crapping on, the joke really doesn't need this much of a build up.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
BB Challenge Version 10
This Is Big Blogger.
Time for the challenges to get interesting, so here is weird one:
"I know what you did last blog"
The aim of this challenge, is for the Cyberhousemates to have read the blog of another Cyberhousemate, and stalk them. Your way of stalking is up to you, be it Obsessed Fan, as a Love Interest, or even Stalking for Evil things.
The way to tell everyone about your stalking, is to write a blog entry, in the form of a letter to the person. As an example, if Big Blogger was stalking Andy, it would go something like this:
"I saw you the other day. It was in Ikea. You didn't see me there, you never see me. But I am there. It is a good thing you were too busy holding your nose in that cab. If you had looked in the rear view mirror, you would have seen me following you, watching, waiting on your every move. The night you do your first stand up gig, I will be there, but what will I bring? A heckle? A tomato? A pie? Or could it be a CHICKEN! You like chicken, I know you do, but you don't like pepsi, you sicko!"
So there you have it Cyberhousemates, your challenge is set. May I suggest before you write your post, at the head of the posting, please let people know that this is part of the Big Blogger challenge, and not something you would actually do in real life.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
Meet the new post box
Hi Television tuners, and other non transmission receivers.
Welcome to my new Post Box, it's name is Mitch.
I've been playing around with how to make it easyer for people to email me, though my blog, and this is the work in progress.
I was searching the net for images and insperation for a mail box. Entering words like
circus, clown, pisstake, humour, funny, etc. One of the images that showed up was Mitch, so I though, why not photoshop that!
From what I have learnt in 0.12 seconds of web searching is,
Mitch has something to do with the
Central Queensland University, along the lines of
Fitness of Children. His full name is
Mitch Duncan. The bullshit I am making up about him is, he is a Virgo, enjoys watersports, Asian cooking, and has a great sense of humor. The funniest memory he has is singing Shipping Steal in the back of his great mate Bazza's ute, as it drove through town, wearing nothing but his footy top, at 3am, the day of Chooka's wedding. One day he would like to travel to Nepal, but for now there is too much of Australia to see.
If anyone actually knows Mitch, and can provide more details, I would like to know. If I have got the bullshit details correct, Mitch I didn't know, I'm not stalking you. Actually if anyone does know Mitch, then please let him know where his copywrite is being breached. I am sure he would like to know.
So if you are looking to send me an email, just feed the Mitch, he doesn't bite.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
POST UPDATE: I've been asked to animate Mitch, in a Monty Python way. Well I have worked out how to do that, now I just need to work out how to add a sound.
HooRoo
Bec
BB Nominations Ver 8.0
This Is Big Blogger.
Now we are getting down to the pointy end of evictions, a winner will be found shortly. So it is time to really get tough on the Cyberhousemates, but that can wait. For now it is time to ruin the weekend for a few of you.
Here are the nominations:
- Sophie
- Colbs
- Mr Huggies
- Hillbilly Mom
Congradulations to you DeadPanAnn, you survived nominations, despite being dumped into the Cyberhouse late in the game. People must like you.
This weeks evictee will be decided by my pet cow. I will put posters on the fence, and which ever one Cow licks first, they are out. Nominees can choose to have a particular flavour smeared all over their face, to increase your chances. Cow decided on Sunday.
Blog Out
HooRoo
BB
Vent time, reply
Hi Everyone,
OK, so I went down to the school today, and I would have spent more time in the area, but urgent matters called me back to Melbourne, I'll blog about that another time.
Today the school gave me the kids report cards, grades have slipped, not surprising. My ex had put a restriction on the files, and had also written in bold, that I am not allowed to visit the school, I am not permitted to see the children, and that I have court orders against me having anything to do with the kids.
Thankfully the school was quite helpful, as much as they could be. They gave me all the files they could, for the time being, and they have been in contact with the school where the kids are currently attending. Through their legal service, what they are doing is contacting my ex and are asking for copies of all such court orders, and if they can not be provided, then the school will pass on their address to me.
What this will mean is my ex will try a few different things. 1) Take out court orders against me, for which there are no grounds, so that will fail. 1 Nil me. 2) Ignore the request, which means the details will be given to me. Another win for me. 3) Try to move the kids on again, which wont go down well in the courts. Three in the hoop, the girl wins a prize. Yippee.
Now all I have to do is wait out my 28 days, at the longest, to find out everything. Finally I am getting a win on the board.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Becky
Who's that in the House?
This Is Big Blogger.
I have been asked to report on who is left in the Cyberhouse, but I wont. Instead I will leave that task to our resident psychologist, Dr. Huffanpuff. Take it away Doc:
Zee peoples left in zee house, are as followed, each with a description, of what they are like.
- Sophie: A quite woman, who likes to complain her way out of doing tasks, and complains others back into zee house. While she may live in zee loneliest city in zee world, she should still try to blog more. I don't explect her to remain in zee house for long.
- Mr Huggies: Being zee only male left in zee house, I am surprised he has not done silly things like put his underwears on sign posts. Hang on he has done that, now I am really worried. Being a man of zee night (zee petrol and pizza kind), he has a lot of strength and stamina, but this is only as long as Red Bull stays in his system. I don't expect him to remain in zee house for long.
- Colbs: Zee "Hokey Pokie" girl of the house. She gets voted in, she gets voted out, she gets voted in, and that is all about, her. Some people would call her zee quite achiever, but zee company BHP has already stolen that slogan. I don't expect her to stay in zee house for long.
- Hillbilly Mom: Zee first of zee international players, and a journeywoman. She sees herself as zee mother of two boys, but can she prove they are hers? While spending a lot of time blogging about movies, fish ponds and $300 cars, she is still Big Blogging. But will she burn out? I don't expect her to stay in zee house for long.
- DeadPanAnn: Zee second of zee international players. Someone left the door open after putting out zee garbage, but unlike other Raccons, who would have gone for zee bins, she came into zee house, and is spicing things up. Because of her late arrivial, I would not be surprised if zee other cyberhousemates band together to form a collective broom to scat her from zee house. I don't expect her to stay in zee house for long.
Well thanks for that report Doc, I hope that clears things up for everyone. Just to recap, those left in the house are; Sophie, Mr.Huggies, Colbs, Hillbilly Mom and DeadPanAnn.
Now that we are down to the pointy end of the comp, expect a few surprises, after all, we have to try and keep up our ratings.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Big Blogger
Vent time
My ex is a total shithead.
It was late August, 2004, that I last saw my kids. Since then I have been trying to track them down through the legal system, and through my own investigations. Because it is the other parent who has taken my kids, the police wont get involved, unless I can provide evidence that the kids are in harm, it is bullshit.
The other day, through a lot of cross matching, I found out where my kids go to school, well it was more of a 20% chance, so good odds. Today I called the school to find out some interesting things.
- Apparently there is an Intervention Order out against me. The school have not seen this, but they were told about it.
- There is a restiction placed on the file, saying I can not have access to it. It is not a legally binding restricition, they just did it.
- The worst news of all, my kids left the school back in March this year, with apparently no forwarding address.
So this Friday, I am making the 600km round trip to where the school is, to try and get any details I can. The saga continues.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
BB Verdict. Ver 7
This Is Big Blogger.
It's time for fun at the second happiest place on earth! This would be the happiest place, but someone just gave Big Blogger a wedgie. Ok, bugger it then, it is an angry place, grrrr!
It's time to go.....
Neisha.
As you leave the house, could you take the office prankster with you, and give him the thrashing of a lifetime. Thanks.
Blog Out
HooRoo
BB
Light Camera Action
Hi refernece guides, and other non referring materials.
Thanks to some help from my friendly local webmaster, I'm now going to try and take you to the moives. This is a bit of an experiment, next time I promise to wear make up.
Welcome to my blog
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
Celebrity Crush
Hi Business Cards, and other non informative paper products.
It's time for me to embarrass myself, by exposing to the world my Celebrity Crush.
Now for most people, it is someone who is well known around the world. Someone like a Brad Pitt, a Pamela Anderson, or if you are really perverted, Barney the dinosaur.
My crush is on someone who is more of a local product. Now this guy is married, and I would never dream of actually going out with him, or trying to get him away from his wife. This crush is a bit like a kind of puppy love.
My crush is on none other than James Brayshaw, or as he is commonly known, JB.
JB, is a former state cricketer for West Australia, and South Australia. He does breakfast radio on
triple M, and commentates the footy and cricket on TV. Now for those of you who have heard or seen him, you are most likely wondering what the hell it is anyone would see in JB. I don't know what it is myself, but I love hearing his voice on the radio, and when I see him on TV, I just go a bit giddy, and have to stop and watch him.
Now on the radio, he comes across as a bit of a sexist pig, but this is just a character, he is more of a larrikan, but the kind of guy you know will be there for you in the toughest of times. He just seems to me to be the kind of guy any Australian guy would be proud to have as a mate, or would want to be.
So JB, if you ever read this, I wish you and Mrs B all the best in life, and best of luck with the third arrival of the Brayshaw clan. Any of your detractors can go to hell as far as I am concerned. You're Ace!
Blog Out
HooRoo
Rebecca
BB Nominations Ver 6.0 / New Challenge No.10
This Is Big Blogger
Here are the nominations for this round:
Neisha
Mikey
Colbs
Dead Pan Ann
Now I know that Mikey has all ready been evicted, but someone did nominate him, so he is up for eviction again.
Decision in the next couple of days.
Now it is challenge time. This round, you have to write, and write like you have never written before, unless you are some kind of beatnik poet. The challenge is:
Ode to my .....
What you have to do, is write an ode to something. It can't be someone you love, it has to be an ojbect that means something to you, either now, or from your childhood.
Best of luck
Blog Out
HooRoo
BB
Sorry for the delay post 2
Hi Glasses cleaning cloths, and other non weaved products.
Well I am sorry for not posting anything for a little bit, it has been a pretty full on week.
I've had exams at work, closely followed by going back into class, with in an hour of the said exams. My improv comedy is taking a few big steps, so I've been out there donig my thing a bit.
The other big news is a friend of mine suddenly died at the ripe old age of 39. She was sitting there, chatting with friends, when suddenly she just slumped over dead. They don't know what caused it yet, and there was nothing foul or illegal involved, it just happened.
So I will get back into the posting in the next few days, but for now, I have to get going. I believe that Big Blogger has somethings to do, so I have to get of this Mac.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
BB Running tally
This Is Big Blogger.
For anyone wanting to keep a running record of nominations, here is an update:
Colbs 4 times
Misha 3 times (Out)
Neisha 4 times
Hillbilly Mom 2 times
Mr Huggies 2 times
Richard 2 times (Out)
Sophie 2 times
Mikey (Out) But now has another vote, go figure!
Andy (Out)
Dark Season (Out)
Tetherd Cow (Out)
Dead Pan Ann 1 time
So if it wasn't for Misha, it would appear that the more times you are nominated, the better the chance you have to stay in the house.
Blog Out
HooRoo
BB
Intruder in the Cyberhouse
This is Big Blogger.
There is now a new blogger in the house, Dead Pan Ann.
DPA will be up for eviction at the next round, automatically, but that is not to say she will be voted out.
More challenges to come, as we get to the pointy end of the Cyberhouse.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Big Blogger
BB Challenge Version 9
This Is Big Blogger.
Here is the new challenge for this week.
BB wants to know a time you really embarrassed yourself in public.
As a bit of a hint, here is a story from Big Bloggers life:
Here in the land of Oz, we have a range of products by a guy called Dick Smith. When these first came out, the names of them all got shortened by my friends and me to better names. So instead of cheese slices, we got Dick Cheese. Instead of museli, we got Dick Flakes. Instead of Tim Tams, we got Chocky Dicks. The list goes on and on.
One day I was in the supermarket, looking for the Dick Smith Strawberry Jam. I couldn't find it on the shelf, so I lent over to the 15yo who was stacking the bottom shelf to ask him. This was a bad idea, because I was wearing a bit of a low cut top, and he ended up looking right up it, as I politely asked him "Excuse me, do you know where they have put the Dick Jam?"
He stuttered and went bright red. I went bright red, he kept stuttering, I just walked off trying not to laugh, hoping no one else had heard.
So there you all go, best of luck.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Big Blogger.
Sorry for the delay
Hi Everyone,
Thanks for visiting the new home of Rants of a Rebecca.
Right now I am in exam mode, so my updates will all be coming after Thursday, there are a few things to talk about.
My new Bike.
Rewording Moive quotes.
All new cooking with Bec.
Why Oh Why, Oh Why.
...and still more.
So until then, I believe Big Blogger has a new challenge.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
BB Verdict. Ver 6
This Is Big Blooger.
My pizza is just about cooked, so I will make this quick.
It is time to go....RICHARD.
Ok, while you head off, I'm going to burn the roof of my mouth with hot cheese.
Blog Out
HooRoo
BB
Hooray, you found me!
Hi Pushbikes, and other non transport devices,
Well, welcome along to the new home of my blog.
Now that I have my own spot on the bweb, this blog may expand into other areas, but for now, I will just keep blogging away.
With the new blog comes a new email address: blog@trampanto.com
Well I must get on with other duties, some exciting blog entries to come soon.
Blog Out
HooRoo
Bec
BB Challenge Version 7, Eviction Version 6.0
This is Big Blogger.
It is time for a new challenge, and this week, one for the imagination.
Cyberhousemates are required to blog about "Underwear in unusual locations"
The rest is up to you. Good Blogging
Oh, and while I am here... this weeks nominees are:
The evictee will be known in the next few days.
Blog Out
HooRoo
BB
Cooking With Bec. Vol.4
Hi Brakes, and other non restrictive devices,
Well it has been a while since I have done one of my cooking adventures. It is not that I am not cooking, it is just I haven't posted one. I was thinking about this the other day, so I decided to make something simple for you all to enjoy. Now this one is a real winter warmer, but it also is great in any weather conditions, and one the whole family can enjoy.
Fish & Chips
In this day and age of health foods, a good old serve of fish and chips can not be beat. You all know the feeling, it's Friday night, you just can't be stuffed cooking, so down to the local Fush 'n' Chups you go.
As we all know, there is more to a fish and chips, than the obvious. These days there is a wide selection of types of fish, dim sims, potato cakes (potato scallops), crab sticks, chicko rolls, (tasmanian) Scallops, and even in some cases salads. Oh and I forgot to mention, you can get your fish grilled, for an extra 20 cents.
Now if you think that subway got the idea for letting you choose your own salads, Fish and Chip shops, started this long ago. You can choose from the menu, what you want, how much of it you want, the only limit being $2 minimum of chips.
Some places have set deals, like a snack pack, a dim sim, two potato cakes, crab stick, minimum of chips and a can of drink for $5, but you don't have to pick these, your local fish and chips shop can do any combination, with the minimum of fuss.
Now one of the enjoyable things about F&C shops, is the entertainment you can get from the shop. The walls contain posters of local fish varieties, where you can update your Latin. A fine section of magazines are on hand, and local newspapers too. Some have a pinball machine, other a high bounce ball machine (usually 20 cents a ball). You can also get the stomach juices flowing, while you wait, with a Pickled Onion.
Once you have your freshly wrapped golden goodies (with salt and vinegar, if you like), the world is your oyster, or your oyster is deep fried and wrapped in paper. If you had to drive to the shop, there is no greater feeling than the warm steam from the package, sitting on your lap as you drive. A small hole is ripped in the side, to allow for breathing, after all, this is you new baby. The odd piping hot chips is taken, and on some lucky occasions, you will even score a potato cake, or the crispy end of a bit of fish.
Now depending on where you are eating your fish and chips, depends on the way you eat them. If it is a sunny day, then down the beach, spread out on a park table, is the way to do it. In a way, this is tourture for the fish. Those still swimming around in the ocean, will be filled with fear, from seeing their friends eaten, three seconds later they will have forgotten the whole thing and be filled with fear, from seeing their friends eaten, three seconds.....
If you have taken them home, then a chip sandwich is a must. This starts with a fresh slice of bread, just enough butter to drip down your hand is spread on that slice. Then a potato cake, followed by as many chips as you can handle, and tomato sauce (Ketchup). The whole thing is finished off with another slice of bread, with just enough butter, like the first, and the whole thing is pressed down to a size that can fit in your mouth. This kind of sandwich is best eaten on a cold winters day.
So there you have it, I hope I have opened up your eyes to one of the greatest food types known, and you can have a great evening of entertainment for the whole family.
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